Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts

Friday, May 29, 2009

Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks.



I remember when I was a kid and my mother asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, I told her I wanted to be a stand up comedian. I think I was about 6 or 7. This was during the golden age of television with all the variety shows and Carol Burnett on all the time. I just thought that would be a great job. My mother promptly squashed my childhood dream by saying, "No, you can't do that. You'll starve to death." How many parents do that? "I want to be a policeman." "No, Jimmy you'll get shot and killed. Pick something else." Seriously, how much does that suck? Well, if my mother were still alive, I think that she might be happy if I was doing stand up. At least, I wouldn't be so fat then. She was always hung up on my weight. I'd tell her it's the stand up comedy diet. She'd be pleased I was finally thin. It's been over 30 years and I still remember that conversation. I still would love to do stand up comedy but I'm way to chicken now. My mother believed that I would literally cease to exist if that were my chosen profession. That I wouldn't be good enough to feed myself. That if I did that, I couldn't even get a job a McDonalds to feed my food habit. Way to squash the dreams of your only child Mom.

The next incident with my mother was when I told her I didn't want to go to college. That was even less popular than the comedian decision. This happened when I was 12. All I remember is there being some sort of atomic explosion in my home and I was told I was going to college, there was no option, no choice, that was that, shut up, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Now, my options were limited. I could go to college, it just had to be in state. I applied to several and got accepted to several. I pretty much had my pick. SOOOOOOOO, I chose the one that my mother was dead set against. I wanted one that Mom and Dad couldn't just drop in on me. It had to be far enough away for my comfort but close enough I could drive home if I wished. I chose a private university that was STUPID expensive instead of the state school that my mother wanted me to attend. All her friends daughters went to the other school. I should go there. I didn't want to go there. There was no way in hell I was going to be convinced that I would go to school there. So away to central Virginia I went. Off to be a psychology major. Wait, I'm not a psychology major??? Why the hell not? Because I won't be able to eat. Great.

OK. I'm out of school and doing absolutely nothing related to my major. In fact, I'm really happy doing nothing related to my major. Everyday I look at my degree on the wall and smile about it. I appeased my mother by having a business minor, so I could eat. Needless to say I'm doing nothing with any portion of my degree. I'm actually happy about that. At this point in my life, I wouldn't want to be a psychologist nor work in business. I like testing software. I get to break things for money. I get to do puzzles for money. What could really be more fun than that?

However, I'm really finally taking part of my life and really doing with it what I want to. I'm not worrying what people think about my decisions. I really don't care. All I know is I'm trying to do what makes me happy. I want to enjoy life. You only get one go at it. You've got to make it count. Right now, my life is a lot more fun than it's been in a very long time.