Wednesday, December 5, 2007

There is no safety this side of the grave. - Heinlein

It's true there is no safety this side of the grave. My pastor will even tell you that being in the service of the Lord is one of the most dangerous places that you can put yourself. I can see that.

I've come to realize that I've come down off my "I'm invincible" high that I had when I came out of the hospital. I'm now in the "why does this frying pan keep hitting me in the face" stage of my life. I'm trying to keep the faith. I'm trying to stay positive. I don't seem to be doing such a good job of it.

Work is less than desireable. My boss and I have fundamental differences of opinion on things. I feel like I'll tell him something and he doesn't listen. He comes back and tells me he's uninformed. Unfortunately, I told him about it the day prior. He just doesn't "remember."

My small group is becoming smaller rather than larger. I feel like I'm not doing a good job being a small group leader. I don't know what to do better or different. Instead of a point of brightness in my week, it is one of dissappointment in myself.

My sugarglider got out and was on an unauthorized tour of the house when I was out. Baby ate him.

It's the holiday's and I'm alone - still. I know that I got dumped last New Year's Eve. I just figured things would be different by now.

My family is far away up in Virginia and they're sick. I can't get away from work to go up. I can't even make it to my closest relative which is in South Carolina.

My birth family has, evidently, thought me to be to much to deal with. I suppose that I can understand this. I just wanted to know them. Apparantly, they have no desire to know me.

My health continues to haunt me. My chest aches to the point of being really uncomfortable about every other day. I take a Vicodin and go on.

I'll have to say that 2007 has been the worst year of my life so far. I declare that 2008 will be the year of Jeannie. It's going to be my year. Good things are going to happen for me then. I've just got to wait until it starts.

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