Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss
Yepper. Like that quote. Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Living is learning how to throw yourself into the world and not becoming of this world. We, as Christians, must learn to dive headfirst into this world and not become of it. John 15:18-19 states "If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you." John also states that no matter what happens to you, you can have peace through Him in this world. John16:33 states "These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." Jesus overcame the trials, tribulations and boundaries of this world. All we have to do is ask - "Press button for Service."
I went and pressed the button for service yesterday. I went to see my Pastor at Fellowship of the Hills. Scott's a great guy with a great deal of insight. He listens and doesn't judge. I laid out everything on the table. My past relationship that failed miserably. How I got dumped on New Years Eve at my family's house. How they came back after they got dumped for who they dumped me for. How that didn't work either. How that seemed to be the last straw for me. I started to try to find a church and couldn't find one. I came across FOTH. I felt so at home. I felt so accepted. I was greeted with love.
I have serious issues with trust, as I have stated earlier. I didn't realize it, but I have serious issues with rejection. Scott told me I have rejection stamped all over my soul. Once he said that, I knew he was right. I have faced rejection after rejection over the course of my entire life. I guess it all started at birth. Rejected by my birth parents and given away. Then when I found my birth parents, I was rejected again. I suppose that it's come full circle. Scott told me that he belives that God is trying to teach me to not rely on the acceptance of man but to rely on the acceptance of God. He says that people of this world will reject you and persecute you but that's ok. That's what they do. Jesus was persecuted. Jesus said in Matthew 5:15 "Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
I also finally figured out why my relationship failed. I had put this person first in my life. I had put them on a pedistal. They had come before everything......including God. That's why it didn't work. My relationship with Kelli was and is the work of Satan in my life. Satan continues to taunt me with it. Scott says that I need to cut Kelli completely out of my life. That should be relatively easy because she refuses to have anything to do with me. She won't talk or listen. I guess that's Satan at work in her life.
Anyway, after getting all that off my chest with Scott. I felt better. Seriously. I had my small group last night and I felt it was the best one that we had in a long time. God was truly at work there last night. We talked about Christ and Christmas and Heaven and forgiveness and salvation and love and peace. It was truly moving.
Scott is restoring my faith in God but more importantly, he's restoring my faith in me.
I couldn't ask for a better Pastor or a better friend.