Monday, January 14, 2008
There are no crown-wearers in heaven who were not cross-bearers here below.
We all know that Jacob wrestled with God. Or as we say in the South - wrastled. I'm wrestling and not winning. At least Jacob came out pretty much even. He came out with just a limp. Or a "hitch in his giddy-up" as my Daddy used to say. I know I need to be patient. I know I need to let God work. Yes, I know, everything in his time. This isn't really working for me though.
My sister that I went to see in Seattle and then she told me that she wanted no further contact with me has now contacted me. Now wait, it's not because she wants a relationship. Not to say I'm sorry for hurting you. But to ask me for help because our father will not help her. It would be all to easy to say "Sorry about your luck." She's pregnant and is having clotting issues. Our father says it's not genetic. Well, let's see. Your eldest daughter has it, you have it, now your middle daughter is having issues with it. Somebody give me a brick. I need it to hit my father in the head. However, being a Christian often means doing what's right even though you don't want to. I had resolved myself to never speaking with this woman again. I had decided that if she emailed or called, they would go unanswered. However, there are people's lives at stake here. Her's and her baby's lives depend on my help. That's something that I can't ignore. Would I like a relationship with my sister? Sure. Just not like this. I don't want her to feel like I'm her last hope and because I help her she owes me anything. She owes me nothing. That's the thing, if I could save the life of a person that I didn't even know, I would.
I struggled with this all weekend. I was angry, then I wasn't. I was hurt, then I wasn't. I felt contempt, then I didn't.
Yes, I know. This is my year. There are big things in store for me. I'm sure that this is the tip of the iceberg. There will be many more wrastlin' matches with God. I'm sure of it.