Tuesday, January 15, 2008
He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves, and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper.
I freely admit I'm a chicken. If God made chickens without backbones, that would surely be me. God seems to consistantly want to take me out of my comfort zone. See, I'm an introvert - big time. It takes a lot for me to talk to people I don't know or to speak in front of people. It seems like over the last six months, I've done nothing but these things on a regular basis. If any of you are familiar with the Myers-Briggs type indicator, I'm an INTP. See expanation below.
INTP - INTP types are quiet, thoughtful, analytical individuals who don't mind spending long periods of time on their own, working through problems and forming solutions. They are very curious about systems and how things work, and are frequently found in careers such as science, architecture and law. INTPs tend to be less at ease in social situations and the caring professions, although they enjoy the company of those who share their interests. They also tend to be impatient with the bureaucracy, rigid hierarchies, and politics prevalent in many professions, preferring to work informally with others as equals.
OK. Now, you understand a bit more about how I work. I lead a small group at the Fellowship of the Hills church. http://www.thefellowshipofthehills.org/ As I've said before, I thought God was crazy to want me to do this. However, maybe he know's what he's doing. I've dug into the Bible like I never have before. I've read more supporting documentation concerning the Bible than I ever have. I watch the Discovery Channel, the History Channel, PBS and anything else that has something to do with Biblical times, figures and knowledge. I sit and think for hours on end about questions that not only I have but those of others.
I've come up with some lessons for my group in this manner. However, I always worry if those in my group will get what I'm trying to convey. We serve food - both for the body and for the soul. I worry about the food for the soul much more than the food for the body.
I think I wrestle with myself more over this than just about anything else in my life, save one issue. I'm trying to provide thought provoking, spiritually growing food for my group. Each week I get a little better. However, each week I'm so nervous I think I'm gonna be sick.