Tuesday, January 15, 2008

He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves, and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper.

lolcats funny cat pictures

I freely admit I'm a chicken. If God made chickens without backbones, that would surely be me. God seems to consistantly want to take me out of my comfort zone. See, I'm an introvert - big time. It takes a lot for me to talk to people I don't know or to speak in front of people. It seems like over the last six months, I've done nothing but these things on a regular basis. If any of you are familiar with the Myers-Briggs type indicator, I'm an INTP. See expanation below.

INTP - INTP types are quiet, thoughtful, analytical individuals who don't mind spending long periods of time on their own, working through problems and forming solutions. They are very curious about systems and how things work, and are frequently found in careers such as science, architecture and law. INTPs tend to be less at ease in social situations and the caring professions, although they enjoy the company of those who share their interests. They also tend to be impatient with the bureaucracy, rigid hierarchies, and politics prevalent in many professions, preferring to work informally with others as equals.

OK. Now, you understand a bit more about how I work. I lead a small group at the Fellowship of the Hills church. http://www.thefellowshipofthehills.org/ As I've said before, I thought God was crazy to want me to do this. However, maybe he know's what he's doing. I've dug into the Bible like I never have before. I've read more supporting documentation concerning the Bible than I ever have. I watch the Discovery Channel, the History Channel, PBS and anything else that has something to do with Biblical times, figures and knowledge. I sit and think for hours on end about questions that not only I have but those of others.

I've come up with some lessons for my group in this manner. However, I always worry if those in my group will get what I'm trying to convey. We serve food - both for the body and for the soul. I worry about the food for the soul much more than the food for the body.

I think I wrestle with myself more over this than just about anything else in my life, save one issue. I'm trying to provide thought provoking, spiritually growing food for my group. Each week I get a little better. However, each week I'm so nervous I think I'm gonna be sick.

1 comment:

New at this said...

My first thought is that you are good at not showing your nervousness. It never shows. You are proving a loving environment and you accept us as we are. You are loving us like Christ would want you to. You do not judge, you say, “come, come to my group and see”. You might not say these exact words however, your actions are your means of communication. You invite teenagers, yes teenagers and then there are us 30 something’s with small children who are still allowed to come. You allow my four year old to distract everyone and torture your pets and you never seem to mind. The BEST part of this is that you love us all. I always walk away with at least one thing that I learned (even after chasing down a 4 year old and wanting to scream because she will not sit still). My favorite session was the unscripted one. The one where we all just talked and asked questions and tried to help each other with the answers. Even though we are all in a different place in our walk with Jesus, we all seem to blend. It’s GREAT. Hey, here’s an idea, lets be unscripted and just stick to the Scripture. What if at the end of each week, we ask if anyone has any suggestions for future gatherings? I would like to have a better understanding of the Gifts we have been given. I am still searching and trying to figure out what my gift is and how I should use it if I don’t know what it is? Or how about the fruits of the Spirit. I really really really can not wrap my brain around that. I do not know if I just can’t get it, or if God does not want me to understand them at this point in my walk with Him. Anyway, I am writing all of this to say that God is using you in a positive way. Atta Girl, way to go. Yea God for using you!